My problems with "worship" and prayer

Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.
(Ecclesiastes 12:13)

I've always kind of liked that verse. I think it's because it's a good summary. It's good for firing off at anyone who asks about the meaning of life or whatever. Of course, it was written under the old covenant (before Christ), so it focuses on fear and obedience towards God, which is kind of un-Christian. If we were to re-write this verse, it might say something like "Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Love God and enjoy an abundant life with him, for this is the whole sales-pitch for Christianity." And I don't want to get in an argument with the "health-and-wealth"ers or the "abundant-life"rs or the Jabezes, but maybe we're all missing the point. Maybe I've been missing the point. I like to focus on the fact that God created me to have a relationship with him, because that's what I want more than anything, but maybe that's not where I should be focused. I don't know, it's tough.
I think a big problem is the worship songs we sing in Church. Let's look at an example.

How lovely is your dwelling place O Lord Almighty,
For my soul longs and even faints for you.
For here my heart is satisfied, within your presence.
I sing beneath the shadow of your wings.

Better is one day in your courts
Better is one day in your house
Better is one day in your courts
Than a thousand elsewhere

One thing I ask, and I would seek: to see your beauty
To find you in the place your glory dwells.

My heart and flesh cry out for you, the living God.
Your Spirit's water to my soul.
I've tasted and I've seen. Come once again to me.
I will draw near to you, I will draw near to you.

Forgive me if this is your favorite song, it has been randomly chosen from a bunch of worthy songs to be ripped to shreds. (I'll try not to spend a lot of time on this, because my blog entries are apparently the longest known to man.)
There seems to be two kinds of statements in this song. Conveniently, these are the same two kinds that appear in a lot of "worship" songs. The first is the kind that says "I live in the presence of God. I experience his fellowship." So this would be like the line that says "For here my heart is satisfied, within your presence." This just makes me think, "Wow, how can anyone say that? Who is this Matt Redman, and what great powers of metaphor and hyperbole must he employ to say that he dwells in the presence of God? Who are these people - these thousands and millions of church-goers - who dare to echo such a statement? Who am I that I would say such a thing casually, without even considering the magnitude of this claim?" What about "I've tasted and I've seen. Come once again to me." Tasted what? Seen what? The presence of God? Does Matt Redman equate a euphoric worship experience with an encounter with the Almighty? Has he tasted and seen the glory and majesty of God, and does he dare request such an experience? Do you realize what you're saying in this song to the Lord, high and exalted, with the train of his robe filling the temple, with the angels crying out before him, "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory"? Have you seen the doorposts and the threshold shake, and the temple filled with smoke? Because if you have, the proper response is "Woe to me! I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty." Understand this: if you were to "taste and see" God, as you claim you have, you would be deserving of death.
Perhaps I am misconstruing Mr Redman's statements. Perhaps he mean something entirely different, like "I'm happy and I love God, and in that way I'm 'in his presence'". I know I'm almost being irresponsible by taking lyrics at face value, but there seems to be the implication here that something real - something tangible and experiential, something you can "taste and see" occurs between God and his children if they ask. Or at least, it should. Which brings me to the second kind of statement made by worship songs.
These are statements of longing for God's presence. "For my soul longs, and even faints for you" or "My heart and flesh cry out for you, the living God." This is the "one thing I ask, and I would seek" kind of song, as opposed to the "I've tasted and I've seen". (As I said, "Better is One Day" is an good example, because it is full of both.) These two types of statements are similar - they both encourage us to focus on how we feel and what kind of interaction we have with God. I tend to relate more to the second kind, so it's more dangerous to me. It's so easy for me to grab a phrase like "As the deer pants for the water, so my soul longs after you", and dwell on it, and get totally carried away with passion. Maybe I'm becoming cynical about passion. It feels good, but it doesn't really accomplish anything, unless you can channel it into something constructive. I seem to have a hard time doing this.
I could argue about whether either type of statement are really "worship", but I'm not interested in that now. I guess I'd like to say that I think these songs really feed into my longing for a real relationship with God, and I don't think I like that. I think I've come to a point (and if you've talked with me much this year you'll know it's been a long time coming) where I can say I've done everything I can to meet with God. I've focused on this for 8 months. I've prayed, I've fasted, I've stayed up until 5 AM waiting for God. There are a few things I haven't done - I haven't had some Pentecostal preacher lay hands on me, and I haven't slashed myself with a sword until my blood flowed (I'm alluding to the Mount Carmel story. It's very powerful for me. Perhaps I'll expand on this later.) I may be wrong on this - I hope I am - but I've come to believe that I'll never have any kind of relationship with God whatsoever as long as I'm on this earth. Of course, I have no real reason to believe that God will never reveal himself to me, except that the hypothesis has yet to be falsified, but I just have this gut feeling. I generally feel very much alone, very much isolated from God. I have a hard time believing that the Holy Spirit lives in me. I believe, in my mind, that God hears my prayers, but it's as if he hears them from way up in heaven, and does nothing about them.
I hadn't planned to get into prayer today, but I guess here I am. Let me tell you about the Mount Carmel Problem. 1 Kings 18:16-40. The prophet Elijah challenges the prophets of Baal to a showdown on Mount Carmel. They will each prepare a sacrifice and pray to their own God, and the God who sends fire from heaven on the sacrifice is the real God. The prophets of Baal (all 450 of them) danced around their alter for hours screaming for Baal to answer them, but he didn't. So Elijah taunts them, saying "Shout louder! Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened." And these prophets of Baal shout louder and slash themselves with swords and spears from morning to evening, but nothing happens. Then Elijah tells them their time's up, and he rebuilds his alter (which apparently the prophets of Baal had knocked over in their frenzy), has water poured all over it, and then prays to God. And God sends fire from heaven that blows all trace of his alter off the face of the earth. This bothers me.
The other verse about Elijah that bothers me is James 5:17-18.

Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.

What am I supposed to do with this? You can't tell me Elijah had something special - he was a man just like me. He prayed earnestly, and it didn't rain for three years. I pray earnestly and see nothing. Will you try to tell me that my prayers are answered? The closest thing to an answer my prayer usually get is this voice I hear of a mocking old man saying "Pray a little louder, child of God! Surely he'll hear you! Surely he'll answer, if he loves you!"
If all it took for me to have my prayer answered would be to dance around and alter from morning to evening and shout and pour out my blood on the earth I'd certainly do it, but I don't think even that would work.
I don't know. There's more I could say on prayer, but I think I'm done for today. See ya.