twenty feet: February 2008

[+/-] The Word made Flesh

at Thursday, February 28, 2008

From Come Be My Light, part of a poem by Mother Teresa in response to Jesus' question, "Who do you say that I am?" (Mt 16:15):

Jesus is the Word made Flesh.
Jesus is the Bread of Life.
Jesus is the Victim offered for our sins on the Cross.
Jesus is the Sacrifice offered at the Holy Mass
for the sins of the world and mine.
Jesus is the Word--to be spoken.
Jesus is the Truth--to be told.
Jesus is the Way--to be walked.
Jesus is the Light--to be lit.
Jesus is the Life--to be lived.
Jesus is the Love--to be loved.
Jesus is the Joy--to be shared.
Jesus is the Peace--to be given.
Jesus is the Bread of Life--to be eaten.
Jesus is the Hungry--to be fed
Jesus is the Thirsty--to be satiated.
Jesus is the Naked--to be clothed.
Jesus is the Homeless--to be taken in.
Jesus is the Sick--to be healed.
Jesus is the Lonely--to be loved.
Jesus is the Unwanted--to be wanted.
Jesus is the Leper--to wash his wounds.
Jesus is the Beggar--to give him a smile.
Jesus is the Drunkard--to listen to him.
Jesus is the Retarded--to protect him.
Jesus is the Little One--to embrace him.
Jesus is the Blind--to lead him.
Jesus is the Dumb--to speak for him.
Jesus is the Crippled--to walk with him.
Jesus is the Drug Addict--to befriend him.
Jesus is the Prostitute--to remove from danger and befriend.
Jesus is the Prisoner--to be visited.
Jesus is the Old--to be served.

It reminds me of that story from Matthew 25 (the implications of which struck me a few years ago).

If you're aware of the central theme of this book - Mother Teresa's spiritual darkness - you would probably assume that the title is her plea to God. In fact, the opposite is true. "Come, be My light" were the words by which Christ called Mother Teresa to Calcutta.

I think the call can be understood in two ways. The obvious meaning is that Mother Teresa was to be a conduit of Christ's light to the poor, through her compassion and service. As she says above, "Jesus is the Light--to be lit."

But the latter part of the poem reveals a second meaning: Jesus is not only the source of the light but also, in some sense, the one to whom we bring light. When we feed and clothe and love other people, in a very real sense we are feeding and clothing and loving Christ.

This is something I need to work on - seeing Jesus in the people around me, and especially those in need. There is no need for me to discern who is deserving of my love. Every day I see Christ, as Mother Teresa said, in many "distressing disguises". My highest calling is to love him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, however he may present himself to me.

I pray that my eyes may be opened, to see the Word made Flesh.

[+/-] Come Be My Light

at Friday, February 22, 2008

I've been reading Come Be My Light - a sort of spiritual biography of Mother Teresa, based on her personal letters. These letters reveal that despite a dramatic call from God to ministry in Calcutta, Mother Teresa abruptly ceased to feel his presence when she arrived, and conducted the rest of her life in spiritual darkness and sorrow. (An article in Time offers more details. Via Michigan.)

I found the book less challenging and inspiring than I'd hoped - I am so unlike Mother Teresa that I scarcely believe we're of the same species, and I could no more love like her than write like Shakespeare. And while she and I have both experienced disappointment with God, hers was vastly different in content, degree and duration. The book is interesting (if a bit slow-moving) and has certainly increased my respect - nay, awe - of Mother Teresa, but at the expense of any hope I had of relating or empathizing with her.

More than ever I understand the impulse to pray to saints. Mother Teresa reached a peace about her inner darkness and saw her suffering as a means for God to bring others to salvation. On the back cover is this quote: "If I ever become a Saint--I will surely be one of 'darkness.' I will continually be absent from Heaven--to light the light of those in darkness on earth."

It reminded me of the Buddhist idea of a Bodhisattva: a person who achieves enlightenment (Buddhahood) but who refrains from entering Nirvana indefinitely in order to free others from suffering. (It also reminds me of the first verses of Romans 9, my least favorite chapter in the Bible, in which Paul makes a statement so powerful and so beautiful that I almost forgive him the rest.) Greater love, I contend, has no one than this.

I said earlier that I can hardly believe I'm of the same species as Mother Teresa. But I am, and that's the whole point. She was no angel-messenger come down from heaven. No god among mortals, no Word-made-flesh. She was a woman. A mortal like myself, and a sinner. However different she was in her character, experiences and actions, we are somehow of the same essence, and I feel a kinship with her that I could have with no higher being. Transcendent in love and holiness, she is near to me yet in her frailty and finitude.

Pray for me, Mother. Saint of Darkness, be my light.

[+/-] Community

at Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Well, I'm back. I don't know if I'm going to keep doing this or what. I've got things to write about, but I don't know if I have the time or the motivation. We'll see how it goes.

What I've been thinking about most recently is community, as it pertains to Christian life. Winter Camp, as usual, was amazing. I seem to be at my best when I'm at camp. I don't think this is unusual.

It seems like we tend to separate community from the rest of life. We go on retreats or whatever and we have these great experiences of intimacy and commonality and it's refreshing and inspiring. And then we go back to our real world and try to live our lives the way we wanted to or thought we were going to when we were at camp.

Why do we live like this? I know that I can't live at home the way I can at camp. Maybe that's a failure on my part. Maybe I'm supposed to be able to be able to transcend my circumstances and feelings and be loving and purposeful all the time. But I think it's easier to change my environment than to stop being affected by it.

I know its not always possible to create an ideal environment. I know things get in the way, or things fall apart, and I can't just hide from the world at camp or somewhere. But I don't think I should have to choose between being in community and being in the world.

I want to live in a community. A focused, structured, missional community. I want to have people around me who are committed to the same goal, and committed to me. I want people to serve, and to serve with. I want people to guide me and encourage me and touch me and share their lives with me.

I don't think I'm being greedy or unrealistic. I think this is the way I'm meant to live. And I think I can do it.

I don't know how all the details will work, but I'm trying to figure it out. Maybe I'll join a monastery. I hear there are Franciscans in town. Maybe I'll hook up with the New Monastics. Maybe I'll run away to L'abri for a bit. Maybe I could start my own thing. I don't know.

I'm open to ideas.

12 comments:

kathreuter

Camp is special because it is not everyday life it is a change from the normal. When people get into that kind of environment they change, they are not their actual selves.

If camp became everyday life do you think it would retain its "specialness"? Or would it become routine as usual?

I am not saying communal living is bad or anything. I just think that it losses its novelty once routine kicks in.

I am sure I am stealing this from someone but...you can't run any from your problems they always seem to catch up with you at some point no matter where you go.

Although it would be cool if you become a monk :)

2008-02-14 00:59

Lucid Elusion

Jake;

I think that the biggest difference between camp life & "normal" life comes down to precisely what you said: focus. At camp, each person has chosen to be there & each person is aware that there is a common goal to strive toward. In normal life, we seem to be much too separated or individualistic to be able to get together & strive for a common goal. Living at camp 2 years ago taught me that it isn't the length of time--or even the surroundings--it's the determination of striving for a commonly held purpose. I see echoes of that over here in Thailand, and to be honest, I see how ridiculously important it is for a community--even a 'missional' community like the one I'm in--to acually have a stated, focused, directed, shared and srtiven-for purpose. Over here, individualism seems to overshadow the imitations of a common purpose (I wisht we'd be more intentional...), which ends up giving this community the feeling of 'normal life' instead of 'united, committed community' like what camp has.

Them's my thoughts.

LE.

2008-02-14 04:59

Jacob

True, specialness is a big part of camp. But I think the enduring features of good community - the focus, the structure, and the support of other people - would continue to affect you long after their novelty wears off. Not that it would always be a lot of fun, but I think it would be really good for me.

2008-02-15 19:40

SDENNIS

Jacob,
You have touched on one of my favorite pass-times. I enjoy being together with people in a communal setting. I think you and your friends have voiced several of the reasons we enjoy these types of settings. I am convinced that a large part of our enjoyment of communal life is the sense of commonality and support. The rude and boring realities of daily life are minimized because we can leave them back at home. However, if the communal life were the norm it would soon develop that definite daily grind as we would in time be forced to deal with the idiosyncrasies of those people.

The attractive part of short term communal life is the entering into the idealism of our hopes and dreams. On the short term we can pretend to be what daily life seems to undermine. We can choose to do things that are pleasure oriented because we left the mundane back in reality. I have watched the same happen in our pursuit of spiritual highs. A spiritual high is not wrong, but it is good to remember that very little grows on the mountain peaks – it is in the valleys of life that most growth actually happens.

It is very normal to want to enjoy community. The main elements are acceptance and belonging. The sad thing is that so often we look to satisfy that need on a human level without realizing that it needs to be first and foremost satisfied in our daily “community” with God Himself. God has no idiosyncrasies or personality defects that we have to put up with. He knows the best way to put that deepest sense of meaning into life. The main reason we can’t find such is that we want to have things our own way, we like pick and choose what we think is best. So often we question the goodness of God.

We just got back from and excellent week-end retreat and even though I am very tired after staying up too late too many nights, I have wonderful memories to encourage me through the routines of daily life. Let’s make the best of real life by making the right choices every day. I wish the best for you in your daily routine.

"D"

2008-02-21 18:58

Anonymous

I don't know why you want me to be other than anonymous. I should think my former affection of writing God as G_d (something I'm not going to do anymore) would have been enough to distinguish my posts. but it's your blog, so... you've got me using my name. I wouldn't pick a pseudonym for all the world, so.. fine.. it's my name. I realize that in the arena we're in it might as well be Adolf, or Judas (happily it's not), but I didn't pick it, I'm just named it.

You write:
"But I think it's easier to change my environment than to stop being affected by it."

now the following speaks more to freedom, and fullness, but the underlying idea is 100% applicable to your... "dilemma":

Ph'p:4:11: Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
Ph'p:4:12: I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
Ph'p:4:13: I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Where's that coming from (as I'm using it)? If your in Christ, indwelt (as it happens) by the spirit, your hardly the affected, but the effector of your environment. While it's true that you wouldn't want to hang with unbelievers, or hypocrites for long (M't:13:58), one thing "it" shouldn't do is exert any insipid influence on your walk. Remember our LORD's prayer:

....Joh:17:14: I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
Joh:17:15: I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil.
Joh:17:16: They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
Joh:17:17: Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.
Joh:17:18: As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world.
Joh:17:19: And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth.
Joh:17:20: Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word;
Joh:17:21: That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.
Joh:17:22: And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one:
Joh:17:23: I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.
Joh:17:24: Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am; that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me: for thou lovedst me before the foundation of the world.
Joh:17:25: O righteous Father, the world hath not known thee: but I have known thee, and these have known that thou hast sent me.
Joh:17:26: And I have declared unto them thy name, and will declare it: that the love wherewith thou hast loved me may be in them, and I in them.

Wow.

Meditate a bit on this. How is it that he says we ought to be "in the world"? Cloistered away? Certainly not for longer than we have need to set ourselves in order.
We ought to be, chiefly among many things, living testaments to the Gospel before all men. This can only be done in the presence of men (men, as in everyone).

I ought to mention my high regard for the Franciscan's and their related orders (I had a cousin who was a Poor Claire, for instance). But much of monasticism strikes me as antithetical to the lifestyle commended by the apostles, whom we believe spoke by the spirit (don't we?).
Now there are orders that are out there in the trenches, I don't say this about them.
We need to be out there, leading by example if not word.
Your in a place God put you, surrounded by the people God put you in the midst of.. I suppose for a reason. Now perhaps you will say: (M't:13:57:) ...A prophet is not without honor, save in his own country, and in his own house.. Could be, so move over fifty feet, and continue on. Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in Heaven (M't:5:16).

Do you know the "name" form converts all to lower case?

2008-02-22 04:37

Filth- Man

I'm not much of a "community" person myself; whether I'm an individualist or just plain antisocial I'm not sure. I do like the common goal and purpose thing though, makes things run smoothly. Funny how things can be so important to Jacob and mr. Elusion (both of which were groomsmen at my wedding) but not so much to me. Oh, and Kathryn has good stuff to say, as always.

2008-02-22 04:40

Filth- Man

Oh and for "Stuff to do" you should find a high-paying job for a bit, make a bunch of money, then travel the world for a year by yourself. Go to monastaries, mosques, temples and the like.... go see some lions and sharks as well, they are fun! Finally go do something really friggin' challenging and kind of scary.

2008-02-22 04:47

Jacob

Dr. Dee: I think my post is a bit misleading about what I'm hoping for in communal life. As I commented above, I recognize that a lot of what makes camp-style community so exciting and refreshing is that it isn't everyday life, and I'm not expecting that living communally in the world would produce the same effects.

I know that people can't be expected to get along all the time. I don't expect living communally to be any easier or more mountaintop-like than normal life - if anything, just the opposite. But I think it does have the potential to be more spiritually encouraging, challenging, and fulfilling. That's what I'm looking for.

I was amused by your statement that "God has no idiosyncrasies or personality defects that we have to put up with." In my experience (which I recognize is not everyone's) God is far more difficult to "put up with" than other people, and far less able to satisfy my needs. (Whether this is a result of a defect in God's personality or my own, or some other factor, I'm not sure.)

2008-02-22 06:35

Jacob

Adam: Thanks for using a name. I also don't care whether it be Adam or Adolf or whatever else, and it's not so much about being able to distinguish you from other Anonymouses as just having something to call you. As any radio talk host knows, it's easier to converse with someone if you have something to call them. (And I'm sorry about the lower case. Blame Blogger.)

I certainly do want to effect my environment. I don't think those who cloister themselves away in monasteries are necessarily doing wrong, but that's not what I'm called to. I want to live communally in the world (which I guess disqualifies most monastic orders) largely because I think I can be most effective in such an environment.

2008-02-22 06:52

Jacob

Filth-man: I do think everyone ought to be in community in some way, even if they don't particularly enjoy or desire it. But I also think that people need different types and degrees of community. For some, investing themselves in a marriage, work relationships and friendships might be perfect. Others may need something else.

I also think it's important for me to travel, and I may do that before or during my search for community. I hope both will be challenging and scary.

2008-02-22 07:11

Anonymous

I wonder... for all your musing on Christian community, having people "committed to you", and ministering to the "least"... do you reach out to the "least" in the places where you seek spiritual connection?

2008-05-06 23:33

Jacob

Sometimes. Generally not very well. My desire to live in community is not about more fully employ my vast talent for loving people. I recognize my failure in this area and I think living in community would help me improve.

2008-05-08 03:47

twenty feet

[+/-] The Word made Flesh

3 comments:

[+/-] Come Be My Light

3 comments:

[+/-] Community

12 comments: